"Sorry I Hurt Your Son” - James Barr Gets Real (and Really Funny) About Life, Love and Letting Go

From lifting his brother aloft in a homemade Lion King tribute to commanding stages around the world, James Barr has always been a born performer. Now, the comedian, broadcaster and podcast host brings his most personal stand-up show to audiences across the UK. Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex to My Mum) is equal parts hilarious and heartfelt - a high-energy deep-dive into love, healing, and how one podcast episode about semen-based recipes became a cult favourite. Hinton Magazine caught up with James to talk trauma, tour rituals, and why red wine and Uber Eats are the real post-show essentials.

You’ve been a comedian, a radio presenter, a podcaster, what’s the thread that connects everything you do?

I’ve always been a performer. As a kid I was constantly putting on shows for my mum. Once, I stacked our entire sofa on top of itself just so I could lift my brother in the air and recreate The Lion King. Of course, the two-story sofa was essential for the rock moment. 

The need to connect has always been there, and as I grew up it made me feel less alone. Whether I’m on-air or on stage, I love making people feel something. 

This show is deeply personal but also incredibly funny. When did you first realise that comedy could be a way to process real-life trauma?

I think being bullied was a big part of it, and my gay awakening. As soon as I could sneak into a gay bar I was watching drag queens turn every insult, every bit of homophobia, into comedy and power. People like Paul O’Grady made an artform out of surviving with a one-liner. It was camp, it was smart, and it was always saying something beneath the joke. 

I also remember watching Russell Howard’s sketch Cancer Boy and thinking, “Oh wow… you can joke about this stuff, if it’s coming from the right place.” That moment was hilarious, moving, and completely fearless. I think that’s what comedy is meant to do, disarm the thing that once scared you. If you can laugh at it, it can’t hurt you. 

You co-host A Gay and A NonGay, one of the UK’s biggest LGBTQ+ podcasts. You speak quite openly and candidly in everything you do. But, has anything ever come up in conversation that made you think, “I can’t believe we just talked about that”?

My co-host Dan once introduced me to a cookbook called Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes. Yes, it’s real. It features culinary delights like Semen Crème Caramel, Tiramisu à la Man, and Man Made Oysters, using all the usual ingredients but also… semen. 

We never got round to making any of the recipes, thank god but the episode became an instant classic. After that, our listeners started bringing baked goods to our live shows and we were never quite sure if we trusted them. 

You’ve been described as a “gay icon” (no pressure). Who were your LGBTQ+ icons growing up, and how do you feel about that title?

It was always the pop girlies. Kylie, Madonna, Geri! As for being called a Gay icon. I always thought you had to be straight to qualify. That’s the rule, right? A gay icon is someone gay people are obsessed with, or an ally to the community, not necessarily someone who is gay. Otherwise, every single queer person would be a gay icon and let’s be real, some of us are just hanging on by a thread.

You’ve performed this show at the Edinburgh Fringe and even in Australia. How does it feel to bring it home on a UK tour?

It honestly feels like the perfect moment. The show has grown and shifted with me, it’s mirrored my healing. The first time I performed it, I was still figuring things out. Now it’s sharper, funnier, and I feel so much stronger inside it.

Australia was life-changing. Performing it at Adelaide Fringe was the moment I truly felt like a comedian, not just someone trying stand-up, but someone who is one. I’ve always believed in the show, but going halfway across the world and having strangers connect with it? That made me believe in myself too. I’m so happy to be taking it to venues across the UK, these audiences will help transform the show too, and because I know how far I want to go with it , this tour still feels like the beginning. 

What’s the one thing you always have to bring with you on tour?

Hahaha. My crystals. I never remember which ones I’ve got with me, I just know they’re the ones for power, strength and confidence. Who knows if they actually work, but they’re always in the bag.

What’s your post-show ritual? Are you a straight-to-bed type, or do you need a bit of a debrief (aka a drink)?

I usually end up chatting with the audience after the show. People often stay behind to share their stories with me. It always feels really special, Then I’ll treat myself to a glass of red wine, google my own name and probably realise I haven’t eaten all day and order some nuggies on uber eats. 

James Barr is on tour with his stand-up show ‘Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex to My Mum)’ at various places across the UK. For more information and tickets, visit: https://jamesbarruktour.tix.to/Tickets