Co-parenting During October Half-term

How to Survive and Thrive Conscious Uncoupling When You Have Kids 'co-parenting'

October half-term is fast-approaching and for many divorced parents, the difficulties of half-term planning begin. Unlike Christmas and Easter, where there are built-in Bank Holidays, finding spare annual leave this time of year can be harder than drying your washing outside in the October ‘sun’.

However, there is a process divorced couples might consider this October for future half-terms, one that’s smooth and conflict-free as possible. The key? Planning and early communication. Here the top three things to keep in mind in preparing for the school half-term from Pivot’s very own divorce and separation coach, Chloe O.

Have an Agreed Holiday Plan

It’s important to have a clearly-defined parenting plan or Child Arrangement Order (CAO). Taking the time to discuss a clear and agreed-upon parenting schedule is the key to avoiding many post-divorce conflicts. While it’s not required to have such a plan in order to divorce in the UK, there is no over-stating how useful it can be to have things as clearly spelled out as can be. It means couples are not having ongoing negotiations with their ex ahead of every single holiday, because you have an agreed plan that clearly stipulates who has the children when. 

Align Early to Ensure You’re Coordinated

Even if you are not usually an early planner, you might have to reconsider your modus operandi after divorce. By planning your holidays well in advance, you will both be able to compare plans before making any reservations or commitments. It will also give you enough time to get permission from the other parent if you are planning on taking the children out of the country, and to provide them with the necessary information to put them at ease. 

 Agree Handover Times and Locations

The main objective is not to save each other trouble but to minimise travel time and back-and-forths for the children. In general, it is best to avoid handovers at airports or at gas stations along the motorway as this leads to very transactional transfers which can be emotionally upsetting for the children. Be prepared to be flexible as handovers might not be possible at the exact time specified in your parenting plan or CAO due to transportation schedules or other uncontrollable factors. Keeping your children at the centre of your plans should remain your guiding principle, no matter how much negotiating needs to happen with your ex behind the scenes.